Don't go see Deuce Bigolo Europeun Gigalo - talk about one incredibly lame
movie. I saw it this past weekend - ultimate waist of money.

I am getting pretty stoked about Dark Knight though - I'll probbably go see
that one on day one. Who cares?! Right? - I'm tryin' to think of stuff to
write cuz I don't feel like bein' at this stupid jobizzle, homeslizzle -
know what I'm sayin'?! I hate that Snoop talk stuff, but I do it. What else
is their?

I might do another wander tonight. I'll pretty much wander around anywhere -
in grass, in a parking lot, in the cloths racks at malls - I like it when
people think Im WEIRD. Also, it gives me some chill time and I'm away from
the apartment. Also - I have to be a wanderer - I'm the only dude I know who
lives in the suburbs and does'nt have a car! So why am I saving up for a 4
wheeler?! Cause I'm crazy yo! Who cares?! Not me! Im planning on driving it
into the swamp between the Cabellas and the Cambria Swuites! That'll be fun.

I hate the burbs. Yet its a great place to do what you want. That's all I do
out here - wander around and do whatever I want - go out for food when I
want or go check out some stores when the urge strikes. I like the suburban
lifestyle yo - rollin' around workin and then goin' out wherever you want!

And I spend time with my fiannssee Amber. We go get wings if I'm drivin', or
shrimp (I want someone to invent Shrimp Wings - theres boneless wings - so
why cant they?) I go around with her and look at wedding places with her.
She takes care of the wedding plans. I think it'll be fun to be married -
and besides, I learned from Sharon (aka my "mom") that not being married
means you're life is an ugly mess. I want someone to tell me I look good in
the morning before I gew to work, and wash my cloths for me. Not say shut up
bitch and let me sleep. Cook me up some Jimmy Dean sausages.

Well! Peace!

I'm gonna blog about my anger management issues. My bullsheiss
life and livin' in the stupid F'in last ring of burbs before theres
actually cows like walkin around in fields. My real problems are assosciated to my family - my
dad was a dude with a mustashe named Tim and he drove a forklift and ate 
fondue and dumped my mom (good move Tim) and killed himself (thanks
Tim) - this was when I was four. And my mom is a recovering alcoholic who works at the
DMV in Fridley and she's in therapy too. Through
her church - Dissiples Crusaders Holy Spirit. She's been in therapy for
everything from Ass-herpes to Zima. My moms a winner!

I tend to get mad because of lots of stuff. My moms
quote-unquote perpetuive fear of commitment apparently makes me mad - Tim's
quote-unquote absent-presence in my life makes me mad - anxiety about the
future - duh - anxiety about my fear of quote-unquoute
life-performance-abilities (according to a shiny dude eating a happy-meal at
my mom's wership center). Who's not afraid of doing a good job at prefroming
life's bullshit?! Know waht I'm sayin?!

Like getting' married now - to Amber. Of corse I have anxiety and anger
issues. My mom's marriage lasted four years and eight months and ended in
one down, one wounded, and one (me) spending twenty years listening to her
do the tang-spank with every dude that ever wore white jeans.

And workin at the United Health Care Central Subregion 2 Technical Support
Center doesn't stoke it either. I work with a lot of sticks down
there in the call center, and talkin all day to ladies about how to organize
their patience's files doesn't enthrall me tons.

Anyway, I think I have BOREDOM issues actually. I have punched dudes in there mouths when they desserved to be punched in there mouths, but in general I'm not necessarily angry. Those were special circumstances. Unless you can call being 

bored being angry - because I do get bored - drivin around - tryin to find
good shrimp dishes around town, tryin' to get along with the people in my
life, do a half-decent job at work. Think of fun shit to rent or do. It's
all pretty sad really, but hey - who cares?! Thats my life! Maybe its boring
but who cares! Peace out! My foods here!

My mom - Sharon - loves the Lord and she's a Cold-Blooded Slut, to. It's
pretty F'in' lame actually. Cuz she kinda loves to talk about the bible with
people - and wherever we lived she always finds churches and bible groups
and picnics and parking lot fairs and bible-themed coffee shops and places
to go at nite to volunteer and talk about religion and the bible. But in the
back of our minds, we both know she's gonna meet some tweeker dudes at these
places and she's gonna end up FUCKHUNGRY! She's a slut. Sharon Rankrus is a
slut!

But, it's more complicated than just that. She actually is actually into the
Bible end of it, too. Like, when she goes off to Starbucks or "the bible
teepee" - she's actually EXITED ABOUT JESUS, man. She really is! But when
she gets their, SHIT CHANGES! Then, she CHANGES I guess.

But there's where it gets even more complicated. 'Cause that would be cool,
right? Go score some Christian meatstick. Cool. Yeah, but, no. Its something
a lot worst. The guys themselves are the worst. They where Dockers. They
call me dude. They pray (especially when they wanna poke). They wanna take
me to a game with there kids sometime. They wanna be my DAD and shit - what
the fuck dudes! I got a fianscee - unlike you - fuckin' SHEETROCKER - I'm
gonna get marrage right the FIRST TIME, DARYL?! Just so I never turn out to
be Daryl - the sheetrocker who wears Dockers with his shirt tucked in and
prays before he eats Papa Johns and Fucks my slut Mom. COOCH!

Whats wierdest of all is probly that Sharon always wants me to be more like
her. UM, NO THANKS. If that sluts for the Lord, I'm getting' a pentagon
tatoo. If that witch says praying is important, fuck that. If that bitch
"gets out of bed and gews to work at the DMV in Fridley everyday soully
because she loves me" - stop always being someone who F-in grosses me out so
bad. Stop fuckin' these loosers and start fuckin' someone cool for a change.
Start fuckin' Flea! Fuck Anthony Keidus! Then we'll stop yellin'. That's How
we stop yellin', SHARON!

Tonite after work I stopped by SuperAmerica to get some mittens and write
when I was getting out of my (mom's)(just-gassed up and washed) Taurus some
HATERS drive by and throw two (sloppy, Taco-Bell) burritos at me. Like, who
does that?

It made me feel very angry, as they say. I had to concentrate on what I was
feeling, as they say. I had to make sure my emotions didn't take control of
my life, as they say. I did'nt chase after them in the car so that wz good
but the whole way back to my mom's, I gotta be honest, I wz pretending to
meat them and punch their stupid hater faces into pulp.

If your reading this blah(g), you must have already heard about the movie
- Four Boxes. It is definitely going to BLEW YOUR MIND! Hear is a little bit
of BS about me: I work in the I.T. pit (the "it pit") at the United Health
Care Central Subregion 2 Technical Support Center in Maple Grove. I live
with my slut mom and am saving up for a four weehler. Me and my fiance Amber
Croft are in Four Boxes with m' budd Trevor Grainger. (Some of these posts
have been republished and partially re-interpreted by the project's current
executor - Detrerica Entertainment)